Day 6: The Subdue

The day begun like someone had hit my head with a sold metal pole; having to physically lift my eyelids open due to one to many glasses of dancing juice. I had to meet my family for a reunion breakfast of sorts, I certainly was not in the mood for small talk. I began writing early, but the words where mostly covered up for breakfast because it was rather chilly outside. I feel like I am preparing for a funeral everyday; wearing black is becoming dull and de-motivating. Dealing with these emotions is like building an iron bridge that is never finished; I'm ready for for this brief to be over-ka-dovers!

Sentimental, relaxed, depressed

The day progressed with me starting on the varsity work I needed to do. I spent the majority of the day working, which was not fun, since it had become a lovely day outside. So I was feeling quite melancholy and subservient, and continued to write through out the day. 

Worried, guilty, stimulated, subdued, das, hungover (I think it is a feeling), anxious, confused, excited

By the end of the day, I was exhausted and ready for a bedgasm; that wonderful feeling when you fall into bed after a long day.I felt guilty that I haven't been able to get as much work done as I wanted to. When I am hungover, I tend to have depressive symptoms. 

I am ashamed of the emotions I have been feeling, this weekend has had so many ups and downs, its hard to describe even through emotional words how I felt. There are so many emotions on the scale between fear and love, that expressing them can be so difficult. But I spend most of my time on the fear side of the scale; stressed, worried and anxious about everything. These three words are written on my skin at least once a day, everyday. 

Relaxed, guilty, sentimental, submissive, irritated 

"What are you going to do with that degree?" I feel like every time I have a family reunion I get asked this question. Does it really matter though? Right at this minute, does it matter what I am going to spend the rest of my life doing?

Song of the day- Runaway (U & 1) by Galantis, because I would love to Runaway from all the work I have to do: